Initiate Transitions
Initiate Transitions goals describe needs related to changes in relationships. We favor the idea of meeting new people. Someone has to initiate a new relationship. Someone also initiates changes to existing relationships either connecting more often or disconnecting.
There should be hope in new relationships to fill needs that current relationships do not. However, the decision to meet new people is complex; so are the goals surrounding this seemingly simple event. As we determine our goals for meeting new people, we balance the benefits and costs of meeting new people.
We know some benefits of meeting new people. We need new ideas to come from external sources. Some new ideas can come from people we already know, but diverse ideas usually come from people outside our existing social network and daily relationships. New ideas may conflict with our previous views, but we learn to expand our knowledge about people, diverse values, and other characteristics of our world.
We also consider the cost of meeting new people. Meeting new people takes time away from existing healthy relationships. It also may require a financial cost - to travel and purchase goods and services that bind two or more people together.
Starting Steps for Initiating Transitions
(1) Before we meet new people, we need to determine what we need and where we intend to go. Meeting new people can potentially help us achieve some of our goals if we ask the right questions and trade complementary services. Without knowing where we are going, other people can persuade us to pursue their goals that take us onto a path that we never intentionally would go.
(2) After we know what we need and where we want to go, we can identify what types of people might help us grow and share resources that help us move forward in life. We may not know exactly who we want to meet, but we can identify characteristics that fit a profile that help us find people who do specific things in specific places. For example, we would not look for new friends in a Spanish speaking establishment if we don't speak Spanish and we do not want to learn Spanish. Instead, we choose activities and locations that attract the type of people we want to meet. If we want to meet people who sell specific things, we can go to websites that list sellers of specific products.
(3) As we meet individuals, we need to assess personal characteristics that we like and do not like. Trust your own judgement as you grade their character traits. Some people have good intentions, other people have less than good intentions. If you always relate to people who have good intentions, you are on a good path to healthy relationships. However, it requires experience and insight to discern the good from the bad, so proceed into new relationships using tiered levels of trust. As you exchange ideas and trust, continue to assess character traits. If you continue to read good signals, then you potentially have a long-term healthy relationship.